NOTE: If you don't get the joke, click the links! Some links have unintuitive or surprising connections (I also sometimes throw in something whacky just to spice things up).
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If you think maintaining the infrastructure in the normal world is tough, consider all the fantastical worlds where large structures are made of candy.
It could be argued that building in gingerbread is highly inadvisable because its durability in rain is pretty poor. And frankly the witch in Hansel and Gretel was lucky that mice didn’t get to her house before the children did. But Big Rock Candy mountain is in deeper trouble, when you consider the erosion problems that lemonade causes on rock-candy.
If all that wasn’t Straße-ful enough, though, let’s hit the streets. Paving them presents a Rocky Road for your average food-based fantasy kingdom. The durability of most foods is simply too poor for heavy traffic. If you choose the wrong thing, just maintainance will devour the whole budget. Still, some fantasy worlds have looked into blazing a trail despite the considerable challenges.
One kingdom opted to pave the streets in bacon. There’s one advantage, which is that you never have leftover materials to deal with when the project is finished. However, there are undeniable downsides to giving over the fantasy kingdom to road hogs. The overall result lacked durability, partially due to the famous ability of bacon to evaporate soon after being made.
Brazil nuts are very durable. Now it’s very important when getting Brazil nuts to make sure you’re getting the right type of nut, as cases of mistaken identity can have dire consequences. The bigger problem, though, is sourcing (1). Frankly, getting a sufficient supply to be able to handle making a road can be a tough nut to crack.
For a healthier option, you could consider paving the streets in a vegetable. You do have to work quickly if you do that, as thyme is creeping up on you already. Any disruptions to the existing ground cover can demand immediate re-leaf which you may or may not be prepared to provide. It’s not a good option for those who are a bit green at the whole road-works issue. And don’t even consider using something like banana peels or control of the project might slip entirely away from you before you know it.
Cheese is an interesting idea. If it’s durable enough to build a moon out of, why not a road system? But while cheese is surprisingly waterproof, it tolerates sunlight pretty poorly. Perhaps a good choice for a more temperate kingdom? Maybe, if you try your best to select a hard cheese. But we’d suggest curding your enthusiasm. Just wanting it to work won’t be enough— the road to Halloumi is paved in Gouda intentions.
It’s been suggested that the kingdom just eat the cost of supplying high quality food for paving no matter what flavor it comes in. But the trouble there is if you make the food too good, then it inevitably results in the men of your kingdom falling in love with the roadworks—after all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So you need to strike a balance between making the food good enough to match the overall theme of your fantasy kingdom, but not so good that it harms overall productivity or disrupts society.
We personally are of the opinion that the best approach to making a road is using hardtack. It’s simple to make, incredibly durable, and the average inhabitant of your kingdom won’t actually be that tempted to eat it even though it’s technically thematic (2). Sure, it could be construed as cheating since it’s practically a building supply already. Some will feel they should take the high road and use a more broadly recognized food.
We wouldn’t wish to cause strife on this matter, so we won’t go on the warpath. But we’ll say this much— if you choose the wrong road, you’ll probably get your just desserts.
(1) Certain venerable suppliers are getting up there in years.
(2) And it has a storied history.