Reactor and Harp
Jazz Fusion
NOTE: If you don't get the joke, click the links! Some links have unintuitive or surprising connections (I also sometimes throw in something whacky just to spice things up).
We’re on Twitter now! Come say hello.
You might have seen a harp player blow up on YouTube, but now it’s become much more literal. Scientists have discovered how to turn harps into a source of renewable energy.
The principle by which it works is very complicated, and all the scientists were too strung out to explain it to us in detail. In any case, we’ve been assured it’s so simple that even if we pitched to you how it’s meant to work, you’d think we were a lyre. We don’t wish to stir the tank of internet controversy by getting it wrong (though that would arguably be the fastest way of getting someone to explain it properly). We would rather plug the flow of bad information at the source. So rather than harp on that point, we will just note that for the people who oversee grids around the world, the news is music to their ears.
We can report exclusively that major leaders in the energy sector were seen gathering for a multi-course meal. Between many bouts of gin and diet-tonic, they used each other as a sounding board to see what approaches resonated. This isn’t just mouth music. For those just tuning in, here are the highlights.
Whatever your current energy production goal is, you can triplet (1) with a harp reactor. You can meet all of the present demand with your current staff. No overtime shifts are needed-- everyone on your bass can make it to the bar in the evening (2). All it takes is one trained harpist (3), a team of about 2 scientists to debug any problems, a half dozen electricians to manage the current, and approximately 3,000 gallons of industrial coolant an hour (4).
And good news, dear reader. Because we are giving you the news so early, you have a chance to get in on the ground of this opportunity. Very shortly the people who pedal harps are going to be increasing the prices in response to the increased demand. It isn’t often you get word someone will sell tech like this in the near future. It has the potential to pluck some savvy investors out of obscurity and make them wealthy (5).
If this brave new future is coming, is there, bray tell, anything at all to fear in the coming developments? Will the traditional energy sector melt down? There has already been a push for increased transparency in more traditional energy generation and this will likely—at a minimum, accelerate that. But it might go well beyond that. Because the fact is, we can spin up new harp players very fast by adapting existing musicians. Much faster than other types of energy can be constructed. In the short term this may mean that layoffs are coming to the energy sector, but the overall cost of electricity is likely to drop.
There are electrifying times ahead, no doubt about it. But no matter what happens, reader, you can count on us to give you our reaction to it at the fastest possible tempo.
(1) You can tell who has formal training in music because half of them will automatically pronounce this word in the way that makes this pun work best. Then again it’s possible that wasn’t your music teacher’s cup of tea.
(2) Hopefully they stay out of treble.
(3) That part may actually be expensive, their work is deerly beloved.
(4) We admit we’re not totally clear on why but the scientists are emphatic that it won’t work without that.
(5) I’d like to caution that success is not guaranteed. Harp based enterprises can find themselves underwater.